Commissioner Booted From League

During a hastily called meeting, league members voted overwhelmingly to boot the Commissioner from the UW Employee Golf League.  Meeting organizer Mike Sanders was delighted with the outcome.  “We need a commissioner who can interpret the rules as I see them.  This bum cost Team Raymer a second half point that could have cost us the title.  The current Commissioner needs to go.”

Some other league members shared their reactions…..

Chad Shultz:  “He told everyone that I was leading for season low average early in the season.  That is like pointing out a pitcher has a no hitter going – it isn’t done.  We need a commissioner with better sense.”

Dave Rieves:  “True that he led our team in wins, but several were due to scaring off opponents with threats to get them fired if they beat him.  I don’t want to win that way.”

Steve Smith:  “I heard that there was one time when someone bought him a beer and he took it home.  Who needs someone like that in the league.”

Mike Warren:  “After stinking it up on the course for most of the 2015 season, the jerk shot a 36 against me.  That was just rude.”

Mike Kraus:  “He’s been dead to me ever since he abandoned our team to help form Team Rieves.  I say good riddance.”

Jake Holler:  “I am tired of my bad shots, broken clubs, and x-rays becoming internet fodder.  We need a commissioner who is more considerate.”

Pat Fahey:  “I am hoping this frees up his time to become my full-time press agent.”

The Commissioner:  “I realized that following in the footsteps of Dave Rieves and Dave Wolfe would be a significant challenge.  The next commissioner won’t have as difficult an act to follow, and I wish him well.”

The Commissioner will fulfill his duties for this season and train his replacement.  League members are jockeying for a shot to be the next commissioner.  The competition is expected to be fierce.